155.
1931:
Cummings Bridge, Ont. February 16,
1931
My dear A.L.P.
Have just dispatched a letter for you and a parcel of Mss.
for you, and the Mss. of Spalding District to N.Y. and England.
Then set down and pondered over all my doubts. For I have
doubts.
Will you answer two questions frankly?
(1) Do you like the book? It may be my
mood; but I seem to read between the lines as though you
had felt you must pat that fellow Grove on the back after
all. You see, I've cut another umbilical chord; and you never
know how your offspring may turn out.
And just now I feel as if I could do nothing. Oh well, perhaps
I can spin a yarn, in a round-about, indirect, clumsy way;
yet I can spin it. But hang it all, I'm not satisfied with
that. If that's my limit, I'd rather quit.
Now you say: "tempted to say it's the best thing you have
done because it's most frequently and consistently up to
the level of your best powers."
Damn it! I want to do something better by
keeping a thing on the level of my best powers all the time;
but what are they? Hanged if I know.
So (2): which are "my
best powers" ?
If you can tell me that, you may consider yourself to step-father
of a real book - provided I live to write it. For nothing
of what I've done seems that to me.
You see, if you were caught up by it again and again and
again, as you say, then you weren't held there - 'up', I
mean.
You also were let down again and again and again - and that
shouldn't be. But I know it is. So, where do I stand in this
game? Please tell me if you know.
As ever,
F.P.G.
